


Incorect Mafia Quotes ~ Modern!Reader Edition

by CallMeMythicalMinx



Series: CallMeMythicalMinx's Advent Calendar 2020 [18]
Category: Mafia (Video Games), Mafia Definitive Edition (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Mild Language, This is just really dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:36:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28615206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeMythicalMinx/pseuds/CallMeMythicalMinx
Summary: ❄️18th of December❄️A collection of incorrect quotes based around modern reader travelling back in time and causing chaos.
Relationships: Paulie Lombardo/Reader, Sam Trapani/Reader, Tommy Angelo/Reader
Series: CallMeMythicalMinx's Advent Calendar 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2038510
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	Incorect Mafia Quotes ~ Modern!Reader Edition

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I’ll be honest most of these are based around how chaotic Paulie is and Sam’s reactions to that, so get ready. Even though these are so simple, this is one of my favourite posts of the calendar.

Reader being a little shit: “I ain’t ever seen two pretty best friends.”

Sam: “Y/N no.”

Paulie: “Which one?”

Reader: “It’s always one of them gotta be ugly.”

Paulie, nearly crying: “wHICH ONE?!”

—

Paulie: “Do you ever wonder what it’d be like being a cat?”

Reader: “You’re already a pussy Paulie.”

—

Reader: “OH NO!”

Tommy, nearly having a heart attack : “wHAT?!”

Reader: “…”

Reader: “It’s the marimba rhythm!”

Sam: “Y/N NO!”

Tommy, visibly confused: “The wha-”

Paulie, bursting into the room: “WHEN MARIMBA RHYTHM STARTS TO PLAY!”

—

Sam: “Y/N no.”

Reader: “…”

Sam: “Y/N we’re trying to hide from the cops.”

Reader: “…” 

Reader: “Ey Mambo!”

Tommy and Paulie, somewhere: “MAMBO ITALIANO.”

—

Reader: “That Italian looks kinda sus.”

Tommy: 

Salieri in handcuffs:

The judge: 

The entire courtroom:

Reader: “He’s an im-pasta.”

Tommy: “Y/N I’m about to go to jail.”

Reader: *wheeze*

—

Reader after showing them modern music: “If you had to pick a theme song for yourself, what would it be?”

Tommy: “Probably Way Down We Go by KALEO.”

Sam “Feeling Good by Michael Bublé.”

Paulie: “The 10 hour version of the Wii Theme Music.”

—

Reader, at 3am in the morning: “Y’know, ketchup is technically a smoothie.”

Paulie, half asleep, half in the middle of an existential crisis : “Oh shit, your RIGHT!”

—

Reader: “Bye Ralphie!”

Ralphie: “B-bye Y/N!”

Ralphie: *Turns around and accidentally walks into a bin*

Reader: “…”

Reader, tackling the bin to the floor and punching the ever living hell out of it: “DON’T YOU EVER HURT RALPHIE AGAIN!”

—

*During the farm shootout*

Reader, sitting on the floor gazing at Sam: “…”

Tommy, shooting cops from the window: “Y/N could use a little help over here?”

Reader: *tilting head while she strokes Sam’s hair back from his forehead*

Tommy, as an explosion goes off outside: “Y/N, darling?!”

Reader: “…”

Reader: “Don’t you think Sam looks hot when he’s dying?”

Tommy, as a bullet whizzes past his head as a cop runs up the stairs: D:

—

Reader: “Oh my gawd, I wanna kill myself.”

Paulie and Tommy: *panicking* wHAT?!?!

Sam, emotionless: “Same.”

Paulie and Tommy: *panic*

—

Reader, on the roof of the bar: “…”

Paulie: “Whatcha doing up here Y/N?”

Reader: “Admiring the view.”

Paulie, visibly relieved: “Ah oka-”

Reader: “-Admiring the view of my life falling apart.”

Paulie: D:

—

Tommy: “You guys okay?”

Reader, Paulie and Sam face down on the floor: “Never better.”

—

Paulie: “What happens to the car if you press the break and the accelerator at the same time?”

Reader: “It takes a screenshot.”

Sam: “Get the fuck out my car.”

—

Paulie: “The stars are beautiful tonight.”

Reader: “Me.”

Paulie: “You know what else is-wait, what.”

—

Paulie, recovering in the hospital: “You call it a near death experience, I call it a vibe check from God.”

Reader: *proud*

Sam: *smacks him*

Tommy: *frantically googles what a ‘vibe check’ is.*

—

Sam: “Paulie, you can be really destructive-”

Paulie: “I can?!?”

Sam: “I wasn’t giving you permission!”

Paulie: “Too late! I already broke something.”

—

Tommy: *sneezes*

Sam: “Bless you.”

Reader: *sneezes*

Sam: “Oh my god, are you okay?! Are you sick?! Do you want soup?! How could this hAPPEN?!”

Paulie: *sneezes*

Sam: “Oh my fucking god shut the fuck up, I swear to god.”

—

Sam: “Make her pussy wet, not her eyes.”

Reader: “Make his dick hard, not his life.”

Tommy: “Play with her boobs, not her feelings.”

Paulie: “Always salt your pasta while boiling it.”

—

Tommy: “Paulie, do you have any shaving cream?”

Paulie: “No, I don’t like the way it tastes.”

Tommy: “You… eat shaving cream?”

Paulie: “No, I already told you. I don’t like the way it tastes.”

—

Reader: “Sam, how are you doing?”

Sam: “Fine, but I have this headache that comes and goes.”

Paulie: “COW SAYS MOO AND THE CHICKEN SAYS QUACK.”

Sam: “There it is again.”

—

~In the family group chat~

Reader: I think I see you. You’re wearing purple right?

Paulie: Yeah. How did you guys find me though?

Reader: We put a tracking device on you.

Sam: We typed “bitch” into the GPS and it took us here. 

Paulie: I… I’m not okay with either of those answers.

—

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading minxies! <3


End file.
